


Michonne hates Rick's prickly face pubes of awfulness

by CreeperEyes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 02:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17820101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreeperEyes/pseuds/CreeperEyes
Summary: Rick commits the ultimate sin: He hides his gorgeous face by growing a hideous, scratchy beard and Michonne doesn't like it one bit. When Rick refuses to shave, Michonne takes matters into her own hands.





	Michonne hates Rick's prickly face pubes of awfulness

**Author's Note:**

> This might be an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely hate Rick's beard. Haaaaaaaaate. Practically every male character on the show except for Eugene has a beard now and I really despise it. I hate Rick's beard, I hate Negan's beard, I hate Aaron's beard, I hate Jerry's beard, I hate Jesus' beard, etc.
> 
> I miss clean shaven Rick.

Rick and Michonne had been married for nearly a year now. They didn’t keep secrets from each other, but Michonne still learned new things about her husband every day. She almost knew him better than he knew himself, though there were a few odd instances here and there that left her mystified.

Recently, Rick had made a drastic change, and the reasoning behind it left Michonne scratching her head and asking herself, _“Okay, but....why?”_

The famous Mr. Grimes sauntered into the kitchen and sat down at the table where Carl and Judith awaited their breakfast. Michonne flitted about in the kitchen, nearly finished with the pancakes she was making. 

She cast a glance over her shoulder and pursed her lips disapprovingly upon seeing the awful thing that was still attached to her husband like an oversized parasite.

Rick’s gorgeous features were obscured behind an unsightly, bushy, scratchy grey beard. It made him look decades older than he really was.

“Carl, can you pass me the syrup?” Rick asked as Michonne set a plate of pancakes in front of him.

“Sure thing, grandpa.” Carl teased and passed the syrup to Rick. Michonne suppressed a laugh.

“I’m not that old.”

Carl looked at Rick, practically stunned into stupor. “Dad, you look old as shit! Your beard is all grey! If I didn’t know better, I’d assume you were six thousand years old.”

“I’m going prematurely grey from the stress of having such a smart ass for a son.” Rick shot back. “Judy, prove your brother wrong. How old do you think I am?”

“Umm....” Judith took a break from messily eating her breakfast to contort her face deep in thought. After a few seconds, she held up all ten fingers and proudly exclaimed, “This many!”

Rick laughed. “Ten? You think I’m ten?”

“Yeah!” Judith beamed.

Carl playfully poked her in the side. “You’re only about ninety years off, Judy. Dad’s at least a hundred.”

“I do not look that old.” Rick said defensively.

Carl rolled his eyes. “Mom, back me up here. Tell me dad looks old. He looks like an ancient wizard with that beard.”

Michonne sat down with her own plate and gave Rick _that_ look before turning back to Carl. 

“He knows how I feel about it.”

In truth, Michonne loathed and abhorred Rick’s terrible beard. In her book, him hiding his handsome face behind such awfulness was a crime right up there in heinousness with murder and rape. If she could re write then ten commandments, they would read:

_Thou shalt not kill without good reason_  
_Thou shalt not steal from thy neighborly communities_  
_Rick Grimes shalt not grow a beard_  
_Thou shalt love thy husband or wife_  
_Rick Grimes shalt not grow a beard_  
_Thou shalt not rape another_  
_Rick Grimes shalt not grow a beard_  
_Rick Grimes shalt not grow a beard_  
_Thou shalt love thy lover’s children as thou’s own_  
_Rick Grimes shalt not grow a beard_

 

Rick Grimes should not have a beard. If she ever ruled over Alexandria in tyranny, she’d enforce a strict law that would make it illegal for him to have more than a few days growth.

She understood why he rocked the prickly face pubes before they came to Alexandria: He, like all the others at the time, was in survival mode 24/7 and keeping a nice hygienic appearance was the furthest thing from being a priority. Michonne herself hadn’t given two shits what she looked like when she’d been living in the woods with Andrea.

But that was then. This was now. In Alexandria, they were safe and they had food and shelter. They had homes and nice clothes. There was absolutely no reason to have a slobbish, unkempt appearance. Rick’s ugly Grizzly Adams beard was _unacceptable._ Michonne hadn’t kissed him since he grew it out, but he apparently hadn’t picked up on why. Everyday she hoped and prayed that Rick would tire of having that scraggly mess on his face, but her prayers went unanswered. The only conclusion she could draw was that for some ungodly reason, he liked having the beard. If that was the case, she would need to take matters into her own hands. She had a plan, and it was a foolproof one at that. 

Tonight she would act.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

At a little past two in the morning, Michonne put her plan into action. She slowly cracked her eyes open and turned over to look at Rick.

He was laying on his back, sound asleep. Soft moonlight streamed in from the window and illuminated his features. He looked peaceful and at ease, and Michonne smiled to herself. She often liked to watch her husband sleep because it was usually the only time he looked so serene.

She couldn’t get too distracted though, because she had a mission to complete.

Without making a sound, Michonne slowly and stealthily reached over and opened the drawer on her nightstand. She withdrew a small pair of scissors and turned to face Rick.

He was still asleep. Good.

If Rick did awaken before she carried out her plan, Michonne could always lie and say she was horny and wanted to fuck because she had an erotic dream about him.

Holding the scissors firmly in her right hand, Michonne struck.

She snipped off a chunk of Rick’s beard. He didn’t react, and she took that as a sign to continue. She sliced off a bigger section and flung it onto the floor. Course hairs fell onto Rick’s pillow and the sheets around him as Michonne worked. She felt like she was gardening, except she was shearing Rick’s beard and not her rosebushes.

Before long, she had made great progress and could actually somewhat see the face of the man she fell in love with. When she was satisfied with her work, she stifled a laugh, put the scissors back in her nightstand and went back to sleep. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nine times out of ten, Michonne woke up a little before Rick did, but on this particular morning, she was roused from slumber when she heard Rick talking to himself in the bathroom.

He’d seen it, and she couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“Really, Michonne?” Rick, clad in just a towel, stood in the bathroom doorway looking very perplexed. The previous night he’d had a full and downright terrible beard of awfulness, now he only had half of one. Michonne had trimmed just half of his face because she knew that would get him to shave unless he felt like strutting around Alexandria looking like a crazy person. He’d definitely get questioning stares if he left the house looking like that.

At this point, Michonne couldn’t help it and burst out laughing.

Rick shook his head, but he was laughing as well. “Give me a few minutes, okay?”

“Alright. Don’t take too long.” Michonne collected herself and flopped back onto the bed. She heard the sink running and smiled, very pleased with herself.

About ten minutes later, a freshened up Rick emerged from the bathroom. His handsome face, framed by his curly locks, was now smooth, clean shaven and free from unsightly obstructions.

Michonne felt like she was seeing him for the first time again and leered at him. “Hello handsome. Why don’t you come over here and keep me company?” she asked as she beckoned him over. She may not have had an erotic dream about him the night before, but she was definitely in the mood for sex now. It had been months since she’d seen his face properly, and she wanted to pin him down and devour him in all his gorgeous glory.

Rick sat on the edge of the bed, and Michonne crawled over to him. She kissed and caressed his face as her other hand roamed his body, and he kissed her back passionately.

“I take it you didn’t like the beard?” Rick laughed between kisses.

“I did not.” Michonne crowed as she gently bit Rick’s neck. Her hands were on his towel clad thighs now, and she could see that he was starting to get hard, which in turn aroused her further.

She leaned in even closer and seductively growled the command.

“Take it off.”


End file.
